‘Mum,’ says Persephone, as she twirls down the stairs
‘There’ll be a party on Friday and my friends will all be there.
Please let me go, growing flowers is so boring!
Any more and one day you might find me snoring!’
Demeter looks up from the flowers she’s arranging
She purses her lips to keep herself from raging:
‘Honey, sweet pea, you know how I feel
About your putting on dresses and flashy high-heels
And this place where you’re going, where they play that dub–‘
‘Mum, you’re so silly! It’s called a club!’
So Demeter gave up and said ‘Okay you can go
But be back by midnight or, well, you know!’
Persephone rolled her eyes as she tried on a new dress–
‘Yeah, I get it Mum, whatevs!’
Thus on the evening of Friday, beneath the light of the stars
And the headlights of Selene’s bright lunar car
Persephone arrived, quite fashionably late
Wearing the most chic chiton to date
And as always, on her head a bright flower crown
As the dryads rolled their eyes and said ‘The hipster’s in town’
‘Oh my Zeus!’ She exclaimed, ‘I might find some romance!
Come on everybody, let’s get up and dance!
LET ME TAKE A SELFIE’
So she and her friends, the nymphs and the satyrs
Hit the floor and left all their troubles to later
Little did they know that Persephone caught the eye
Of a gentleman in black who happened to spy
Her fleetness of foot and her grace in the lights
Fist-pumping away till the end of the night
This guy’s name is Hades, and he’s smoother than smooth
Even more than Apollo and much better than Zeus
He came for a hookup and to have a good time,
Then saw Persephone and said ‘Oh, she so fine!’
So as soon as she fled to the bar for a drink
He was at her side faster than anyone could blink–
‘Heeeey, babe,’ he says, his teeth glinting white,
‘You with someone or did you come alone tonight?
Can I get you a drink?’
‘Aww, aren’t you cute,’ Persephone titters, ‘Yes, vodka absolut!’
But Hades just smiles and says ‘How about this?
A pomegranate cocktail with a nice curly twist?
It’ll quench your thirst and warm you right up,
When you party with Hades, the party don’t stop.’
Poor Persephone! She had never been warned
To take drinks from strangers who might mean her harm
The more Hades talked, the braver she got
And after the cocktail, it was shot after shot
And back at home Demeter was pacing, so worried
At her wits’ end at last she called up Hermes,
‘Oh nephew, my daughter’s been out all night!
It’s quarter to two and she’s nowhere in sight!
Pull out all the stops and seek till you find
Then bring her back home or I’ll lose my mind!’
Finally as the night wore on
(Time really flies by when you’re having fun)
Hades asked Persephone if he could bring her home
For he was, he explained, quite all alone
In a dreary apartment with a dog with three heads
‘It’s dreadfully boring, and a little bit…dead.
So are you gonna stay the night?
Doesn’t mean we’re bound for life…’
Persephone giggled. That sounded like fun.
Aphrodite be praised, she’d found The One!
‘Okay, okay, I’ll be right outside
You can take me home and for a nice moonlit ride!’
And at that moment, Hades smiled,
‘Awww YISSS,’ he thought.
THAT WAS WHEN HERMES ARRIVED.
‘Your mother is asking where on Gaea you’ve been!
It’s getting late and you’re drinking with HIM?
Persephone, you don’t know what’s up!
WHEN YOU PARTY WITH HADES THE PARTY DON’T STOP!’
He grabbed at her arm and pulled her out the door. ‘You are coming home NOW. No more drinks, no more!’
And so the night ended, Hades alone once again,
A little melancholy and with no girlfriend,
While Persephone explained herself to her mom:
‘I only took like six shots, come on!’
But six shots can go a long long way
And it won’t be long before the happy day
When in half a year, or possibly less
On a winter evening the gods will all bless
When Hades and Persephone meet once more
Under the lights of a lively dance floor
And when they do, sparks will fly and pop,
‘Cause when you party with Hades…
the party don’t stop!